


Dreams are 60% weird and 100% bullshit

by Teenyttt



Series: Shitposting [1]
Category: No Fandom
Genre: A cat - Freeform, Donuts, Jamaican musicians, My dreams are very weird, Starring - Freeform, Sweet Dreams, a saxophone, and six potted plants, dreams are weird, from start to finish, have fun reading this, honestly that was a wild ride, ta dahhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 17:26:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17585147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teenyttt/pseuds/Teenyttt
Summary: So one time I dreamt I was Tony Stark with a mission.





	Dreams are 60% weird and 100% bullshit

 

One time I had a dream about Tony Stark. No, not like I’m dreaming OF him, more like I WAS Tony Stark. That was very weird.

 

So basically shit goes down like this. I can’t really remember the first half of the dream. But I think I fell into depression or something like that. As Tony Stark does. In like a billion fanfictions I have read. And then I just sorta snapped out of it. And like (this is probably after Ultron, like, after JARVIS died) I was feeling all sad about JARVIS and everything so I made a JARVIS Z. And then I was like welcome hello I’m gonna need you to calculate equations like ain’t nobody ever seen before. This is like, in addition to the AI I already have beforehand that I previously built to replace JARVIS. So like this is JARVIS 3.0.

 

And then, I think I went to somebody’s house? I don’t know whose. But it was near my marketplace. My grandmother’s house was nearby and I could see them repainting the HDB housing flats. It was like watching a stop motion video and I saw the process of painting fast forwarded. It was cool and shit. And the walls were like ombre blue to purple colour. But it was only done for the flats around me and my grandma’s flat. So I was jealous af because the ombre was so pretty but my house didn’t have it why didn’t my house have it?

 

Then some stuff happened in between that I can’t remember and cut scene to some badass action scene of me walking and doing Tony Stark things. It was all very epic I’m sure. I remember I was trying to get somewhere and I had to walk a highway that had cars. They weren’t fast cars. They were like medium fast. So then, I just. Walked into them. And walked over them. ????????????????

 

I was Tony Stark. Of course I can phase through cars and walk over them.

 

So then after that, like, I had to get past some guards. A lot of guards actually. But, plot twist, all the guards were sleeping. Just passed out asleep on the floor. It was weird. And very scary. Like some sort of airborne immediate effect disease passed through and everyone just slumped over dead. But I remember thinking I was pretty convinced they were sleeping and I saw like one guy half awake. And for some reason. I was convinced they were still conscious and I had to get through them and through the glass doors beyond them. So, I whipped out my wallet all cool like and said in the best commanding tone I could muster ‘Police!’. My badge sorta looked like a police badge. Nobody objected so I was free to pass. So I stepped over all the ~~dead~~  unconscious bodies and walked through the glass doors like the badass Tony Stark is supposed to be.

 

And then I had to make a call to someone. I don’t remember who. But it was important. I had to distract them from what I was doing. So the phone rang, someone picked up.

 

“Hey how are you?” Me, all nonchalant and like.

“How did you get this number?”

“Doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that your cat just peed all over your six potted plants. All of them.”

 

And I hang up on him/her.

 

The scene cuts to like the POV of the person on the phone. And there’s like a cat sitting beside six potted plants licking its paws without a care in the world. The guys starts walking slowly and deliberately to the cat.

 

And then it cuts back to me. I don’t know what the guy did to the cat. RIP cat.

 

So I continue walking down the highway. Which is suddenly now empty. But I come across this band of Jamaican musicians (don’t ask me how I knew they were Jamaican they just were) playing outside a shop on the highway. There were like four guys. One guy had a saxophone.

 

I continued past them but as I walked past thy suddenly played their music louder. I stopped and was like ‘wtf?’ do they want me to give them money?? Bu then they sorta, serenaded me? And another guy came out of the shop (I guess he’s the shopkeeper) and he started dancing with me to the music. And it was fun and all but then I’m like wtf I’m Tony Stark I have things to do what else did I fool all those very attentive guards and make that call for distraction for?

 

So I stopped and the (I’m assuming) shopkeeper guy wanted to lead me away (BACK up the highway which was opposite of my intended direction by the way) and was like telling me ‘thank you for loving me and coming to get me’.

 

And I was like, bij wtf. I did NOT come to get you. I did not come for any of this. I didn’t make my JARVIS Z for yalls. Didn’t go jazz pass the highway and guards for all this. I came for something more important that I can’t remember.

 

So I was like, polite and all, and let him down gently. “I think you’re mistaken I don’t love you. Perhaps you’ve got the wrong person.”

 

(Now that I think back maybe this was a distraction by the enemy.)

 

So all of them just stop and stare at me, stunned. The shopkeeper guy holding my hand just mouthed softly ‘oh’ to himself. And then he backs away back into the shop. And I, at this point, was so confused and like what is happening. I thought it was a done deal and was about to turn away to continue on my valiant quest _when he comes back out_ and then he offered me donuts. I was weirded out after the serenading and the confessions but I mean he offered me donuts. Who doesn’t want donuts.

 

So I sat down with them and ate the donuts.

 

After I finished the donuts I got up again and starting walking back up the highway. (BACK UP THE HIGHWAY I think the enemy was successful maybe those were confusion inducing donuts. But I stopped a few steps later, turned around and pointed to the shopkeeper guy, saying “I may not love you…but I could go with that”, I turned to point at another guy. He was one of the four people playing the instruments. He wasn’t the one playing the saxophone.

 

Said guy was like shocked and like “whAT mE?” And then he pointed at the shopkeeper guy and questioned ‘Why not him?”

 

I was adamant and stubborn and was like “Nope I love you. You look hot af.” (I don’t remember their faces. In fact I very rarely remember any faces or specific people in my dreams. But if I said he was hot he was probably hot.)

 

Then, suddenly the person beside him piped up indignantly “Yo I’m his twin what about me?”

 

And I woke up. Probably from the shock that I never noticed his twin or something. Or maybe they were all just faceless and I truly remembered the people in my dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> Probably from the shock that I never noticed his twin or something. Or maybe they were all just faceless and I truly remembered the people in my dreams.
> 
> unbeta'ed help.
> 
> i live for kudos, comments, bookmarks and constructive feedback, anything you can give really


End file.
